Where we meet each other in oneness and equality.
Awareness day 8: wednesday
I went to the docter to get my blood checked and for my skin turning yellower. He asked me what I was doing atm, while he was pulling out some blood. He asked me what happened to my idealism. In the passed I had come to him depressed, about the state of the world etc... and he seemed to want me to be like that again. I started to feel abit guilty, that i should feel fucked up about the world or something. but then I was: ok hell no! uve been through that .And I released it.
I also didnt knew what to answer, my mind went blank when he asked. So I asked: what do you mean?
He couldnt really explain himself so he just asked about the same thing just referring to my previous state of being.
So with the blank mind I couldnt say anything... lol
Afterwards I knew what I could say, that I was living with more awareness, looking at the world how it is and changing myself and how I lived inside of myself etc...
I also went to dance class with mom.Streetdance:p haha it was very fun to do. The first part they repeated a dance the group had been doing (when we were not yet there months ago). We tried to follow but it didnt work so we were just moving around abit :D:D:D
And thenw e started a new dance all together and that was cool:) But what I notice now is, there are big mirrors infront of us, and I notice when I dance I look at myself and judge the way my body moves and how I "should" better move. So now what I will do is focus on my body and my body alone. I dont mean the image I see of my body, but just me a smy body, you know, you are your body and you feel yourself move, and to tottaly be in the experience of moving myself. As my body because thats me. So that I do the movements as me. And also to move through my shyness towards strangers, towards the other girls in the group, the teacher. To express myself more and dont be afraid.
And stop all judgement towards my body !
I also didnt knew what to answer, my mind went blank when he asked. So I asked: what do you mean?
He couldnt really explain himself so he just asked about the same thing just referring to my previous state of being.
So with the blank mind I couldnt say anything... lol
Afterwards I knew what I could say, that I was living with more awareness, looking at the world how it is and changing myself and how I lived inside of myself etc...
I also went to dance class with mom.Streetdance:p haha it was very fun to do. The first part they repeated a dance the group had been doing (when we were not yet there months ago). We tried to follow but it didnt work so we were just moving around abit :D:D:D
And thenw e started a new dance all together and that was cool:) But what I notice now is, there are big mirrors infront of us, and I notice when I dance I look at myself and judge the way my body moves and how I "should" better move. So now what I will do is focus on my body and my body alone. I dont mean the image I see of my body, but just me a smy body, you know, you are your body and you feel yourself move, and to tottaly be in the experience of moving myself. As my body because thats me. So that I do the movements as me. And also to move through my shyness towards strangers, towards the other girls in the group, the teacher. To express myself more and dont be afraid.
And stop all judgement towards my body !
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